Secrets Of The Heart

I sit here, listening and watching and reading about a website called post secret. I have to say, everytime i read anything or watch the film clip of the site, my heart starts having such a great burden for people... it really hurts my heart.

It makes me think of all those people i know who don't know christ, it makes me think of myself and how stupid i am of how i use the gifts that god has given me, i think about how immature and selfish i am, how closed minded i am, how i'm so pathetically weak in myself, how unsure i am of myself sometimes, how i have to put up a front sometimes because i'm afraid of getting hurt. I think of how much more i want to be closer to god.

I am so glad god has saved me, i am so glad that there is more to this than this life. Everyone is hurting, everyone. The people closest to me, give such a great outside apperance, and yet are bleeding on the inside.

Why am i christian,
because it was the only thing that stopped my heart from bleeding,
it was the only thing that stopped me from wanting to kill myself,
it was the only thing that could heal my rejection,
it was the only thing that i could really feel loved,
it was the only thing that taught me how to love.

I hated life so much, i hated it because i saw it to be so pointless. I was king solomon, everything to me was vainity. I knew there was a god, but i thought he was some immature kid who enjoyed seeing what he made suffer. But i learnt about god, i learnt about jesus, i learnt that no matter how messed up i was, god loved me and jesus died for me, I was given back my hope in life, i was given life.

Post secret touches my heart so much, because i see myself in their words, but at the same time, i see how god wants to reach out to them, how much god wants just to bring them back under his arm.

If jesus didn't raise from the dead, and there was no ressurection, then we are to be pitied above all other men...





But he did rise.

Blessed are those who do not see, but believe.